Innocence Represented

No, I'm not thinking of the road map to solve India-Pakistan problem or global financial crisis, my problem is very significant and much more profound, intense and complex in design. It is the problem that has shaken the greatest empires of the past, a problem which has led to wars and which is even a problem for gods. It is my inability to imagine beyond real, it's my block with all the words from my heart.

Reality is...... But an illusion to waste the magic and pleasing  long hopeless dream. I have dreamt of gorgeous girls and young women, friendly minds and evil thoughts, wicked dragons and friendly spirits, thick forests and rambling wastelands, famous palaces and greatest cities razed to dust. But nothing ever felt like love. Nothing like her. 

My identity was reduced from a man to a person who just wanted her. This led a path to the world beyond mortal vision.... A world where I thought both of us will always be together - forever. Over a period of time i felt it as unending attachment. I could see the twinkle in her eye, feel her hair, sense the elegance and the beauty, "her innocence represented highly". She is the best girl every man would want in his life. Life isn't about something, it is about someone. 

For some it is useless and for some it is worthless. But you try to buy it, and for all the riches of the kings, you can't. Because there were good days and there are memories of the first love. Those lovely celebrations and the good times i thought we could have, all tucked away useless like my tears, as one day she denied me and left for another one. The palace in my heart razed down. My future plannings got erased without any further future. The life finally lost its meaning. The wind never felt the same, my heart will never seize the celebrations of her beauty again. 

Fairy tales of my childhood always showed that Love conquers all, but sadly it doesn't. Staying awake all the night thinking about her - this conquers me now. Thinking all the day about her for each and every second, about the past happiness and the future hopes leave me behind  unconcentrated in everything even when I'm listening everything that's happening beside me. 

Yes, may be she is breaking hearts somewhere else, but i still haunt the same old place where her memories roll. Still love her beyond reasons hoping she may turn one day to find the care and love i show. I don't want to say I LOVE YOU, but i want to say I LOVE US.

Imagine a situation where you are at your favorite places meeting a special girl, to see her for the last time. Somebody, in whose life you no longer exist, but who means a hell lot to you and you don't even care dying for her. The only person you want to have in your life. The only person who went out of her way to bring a smile on her face, and now the reason for your tears to peck off your eyes every now and then. As she walks through the stairs, memories of the previous  incident come alive. Eyes arose to see her. Words doesn't come out to speak to her. Grief stopped at the throat, tears at the tip of the eyes, heart pounding, brain confused. Time flies away as usual with her. Trying to hold back the tears and faking a smile, you say bu'bye. 

Tears roll, grief exaggerated, heart pounding, body temperature goes down, feel like hugging her and saying - give me another chance to change and alter my life fate and impress you. But god doesn't show mercy on true love. He accepts each prayer and resigns each wish. 

With all the plannings that i had for future demolished, torn down and broken up i feel like a loser. Still I feel I have to be alive just to take care of you if you end up in any trouble. Memories are required for old people, but you have given me a lot till now