Hindi Saga

People always say to me 'Being an Indian you should know Hindi'.   'Hindi is our National Language'.  'Hindi is spoken all over India'. 'You have learnt Hindi in school'. ' You have passed in Hindi but you don't know how to read and write'.  

Hindi Hindi Hindi.... Errrr....! What the fuck man. Who knows what phase I have been learning Hindi. Let me tell you my Hindi Saga

First Instance: 6th standard -  St.Johns High School - 1st Unit test - Hindi exam.

The first line was given bold in Hindi - " अक्षरमाला लिखो "

As Hindi was introduced to us in 6th class itself, I neither know how to read it nor had the ability to understand it. So I started guessing. I came to a conclusion that - it would be "'Answer the Following' and that's why it is given in bold". Unfortunately that was for 30 marks and the following question were for 10 marks. So I ended up at 6 marks out of 40. 

Second Instance: 6th standard - St.Johns High School - 2nd Unit Test - Hindi Exam

There was one question from the only lesson in prose "गाय". They asked me to write something about the it.  I started writing answer on my own by elaborating it. I started -

गाय 

गाय को  गोमाता कहते है |   गाय से गो अम्बर अथे है |  गाय को हम पूजा करते है |

गाय ढूद देता है |    गाय दूद पीता है |

गाय को दो अनके रहते है | गाय को एक टेल (Tail) रहते है | गाय को चार काल्लो (Legs) भी रहते है |

That was enough for the whole class to laugh when my teacher was reading it aloud. I started hating that teacher and as well as Hindi. She made me read a whole page daily in front of everyone for the whole year. 

Third Instance: 9th Standard - Vindhya Valley High School - Half Yearly Test - Hindi Exam

I somehow managed to write all the answers and was well satisfied with the paper until I read the Leave letter question. Sir asked me to write a leave letter to principal asking for 2 days of permission as I was suffering for  Fever. As the question was framed in Hindi - it showed भूकर से पीडित होने कारण प्रिंसिपल को छुट्टी पात्र  दो दिनो के लिए लिखिए |

All I know about Bukhar when I read that question was Al-bukhar fruit. So I started writting the leave letter asking for a 2 days leave as my doctor asked me to eat Al-bukhar or else I would die. That was the shittiest story I ever made which landed me in a funny position when sir asked me to come to his room and read that letter. 

Even then, these were not the main reasons for me to stop learning Hindi.The main reason was - I was mostly taught by a teacher. As teacher was a female, she used to use all feminine gender words. She always use to say मे ये करती थी,   मे आगई  kinda phrases so even I got habituated of those so even I started saying मे पड़ी थे,  मे गयी थी  :O

And yet you people ask me why the hell I don't know Hindi. Errrr